adaption

It is harder to break in this city than I anticipated.  The skin is thick as a form of defense, and it is a challenge to move beyond the glossy surface and search, scrape for the beauty instead.  At first I was put off by the challenge, intensely frustrated at my limited mobility in the city and the country, my stolen independence, my class and skin color.  Now I am welcoming the challenges and instead of looking for the car I do not have or the cheap ticket to Tanzania which will not materialise, I am boarding the minibus to downtown that is already packed with sixteen people (they legally fit around 10, but in Africa, you become comfortable with strangers sitting in your lap), and was invited to spend a couple weeks in Dakar on my return trip to the States with Aya and practise le mie francais.  

I am not settling for less.  I am adapting.

There is much to adapt to.  A couple weeks past, I went out for pizza with some new friends and was in my element.  The neighbourhood and the restaurant were young, artsy, colourful and edgy.  It was a pocket of familiarity in a larger sphere of poverty and discomfort.  After supper, I was waiting outside the restaurant holding my box of leftovers, satisfied and at peace, and the face of the moment morphed in a second.  A black, homeless, older man approached me and made a hand gesture that I assumed signified that he wanted money.  I said I hadn't any.  Then he made the symbols more concrete, brought his hand to his mouth, his eyes open and seeking comprehension.  "Are you hungry?"  He nodded fiercely.  I didn't think twice.  I handed over my two slices of pizza.  I saw him walk away, joined by two other grown men.  3 men minus 2 slices of pizza still equals 3 hungry men.

A couple nights past, I had pizza with a group of friends visiting from the States.  There were a lot of leftovers.  Without thinking twice, two people gave me their extras; I returned home with 1 1/2 pizzas.  I gave what I could when I could.  And by peeling off my own skin of armor and being more receptive to what this city wants to give me instead of me trying to milk it for my own benefits, I receive more than I bargained for.